Teehee, cos I'm happy like that.
(I know ignorance is bliss, but sometimes it kills not to know.)
One hell of a thought
I did some math homework! (dances) But I didn't go swimming in the end. Nonetheless, it's still a nice Sunday, jogging feels good even when I slept in the morning today and woke up two hours later to go jogging with Pearlene Quek. Now the family's gone grocery(ing) and I'm supposed to finish my binomial, (woohoo), but I want to sleep I'm waiting my f my hair to dry up.
I have many thoughts. I don't really know how to sum 'em up in words but I'll try.
I gotta stop hurting. But in the midst of restricting yourself at best, when you don't want to do something most, something with no intention at all, it hits others with the greatest impacts.
Sometimes, you have so much angst in you and think, why? Why must I be the one? Am I like a toy or something, being thrown around. Flowery words, sweet talks, tall tales, pretty lies strewn all over the canvas and being pushed and pulled around by others doing as they want. You want this, you make it known to the world. You don't want it, you put it up for sale. Sadly, in the most unknown, shabby store, the one in the corner.
Escape. Denial. Somehow, they always find their way to get together. It's like how we walked around the shop, and everytime I see your facial expression change, or you stopped abruptly like you recalled something, I decided its best to walk away. You may have wanted to share, or want someone to hear what you had to say, but I 'd rather not hear what stories lay behind those colourful figures or smart number toys. Those memories belonged to you. Not me, not us. I didn't want to hear a word of it. Till now I realise it was all part and parcel of denial.
Hear those songs, pass those places, recall some familiar faces, remember some words. But they were valid only then, not now, ain't it. Blast the same songs, get immunity. Keep going to the places, replace the memories. Keep the faces as friends. Keep those words in a tape. You may want to throw out of your window now, but in the future, you may just miss them enough. One day when it won't hurt, you'd want to play it, and replay it, and put it on loop. Remember, and smile to yourself. Don't throw it all away.
Sure, you're mad. You feel like jumping on the whole world, not even sure how you got into the mess, all magnified by now. Thing is, you gotta remember. Remember that people lie. Remember that people make mistakes. Remember that people didn't mean it just as much as how you wish you weren't part of all the crap. For a good cause or unintentionally for the bad, remember to remember.
Don't keep clinging on, holding on. The grip'll get pretty strangling. It's okay to think about what you never got to go through. It's okay to know that others are better at it. It's all really okay. Not that it doesn't matter, it does. But whatever the case, it's okay. We learn, we grow. Anyway life's a journey, not a destination. Hold on not to what you never had and would kill to experience, but what you once had. It's better than never even having a chance to going through it. It's even a happy feeling of stealing something from someone!
I can't stop others from getting hurt, but I'll stay away. I'm not a wasted toy on auction, I'm a rare vintage toy waiting to be discovered. I'll stop denying, I'll listen intently about what you've got to say. I won't throw them out of the window, I'll keep them somewhere in my memory box. I learnt that things won't be perfect, more matters on how you stare perfection in the eye. I'd love being a thief on the railways of life, sprinting, not dragging my feet everywhere, leaving their marks in my wake.
I've had a joy ride, a time of my life. What about you?
Wow, that's a long post. I'm happy I could get them all out to words and hopefully, not miss out any point! I'm not emo, I've just had critical thinking. It feels really intellectual, try arranging your thoughts! Haha. Idiot my hair still not dry yet , means I cannot sleep.
Hair, please dry, quick, so I can sleep. Alternatively, you can choose to grow 10 cm longer. :D
GetOverIt-Avril L. keeps playing in my brain, quite irritating uh!
I want to sleep I want to sleep I want to sleep and my hair to grow 10 cm longer, hahaha. (Bodoh, getting long and heavy, had the urge to chop it and layered short again, like makeover. Prom at stake, prom at stake. I am a vain boyboy , hahaha. SOS SOS SOS.
I have many thoughts. I don't really know how to sum 'em up in words but I'll try.
I gotta stop hurting. But in the midst of restricting yourself at best, when you don't want to do something most, something with no intention at all, it hits others with the greatest impacts.
Sometimes, you have so much angst in you and think, why? Why must I be the one? Am I like a toy or something, being thrown around. Flowery words, sweet talks, tall tales, pretty lies strewn all over the canvas and being pushed and pulled around by others doing as they want. You want this, you make it known to the world. You don't want it, you put it up for sale. Sadly, in the most unknown, shabby store, the one in the corner.
Escape. Denial. Somehow, they always find their way to get together. It's like how we walked around the shop, and everytime I see your facial expression change, or you stopped abruptly like you recalled something, I decided its best to walk away. You may have wanted to share, or want someone to hear what you had to say, but I 'd rather not hear what stories lay behind those colourful figures or smart number toys. Those memories belonged to you. Not me, not us. I didn't want to hear a word of it. Till now I realise it was all part and parcel of denial.
Hear those songs, pass those places, recall some familiar faces, remember some words. But they were valid only then, not now, ain't it. Blast the same songs, get immunity. Keep going to the places, replace the memories. Keep the faces as friends. Keep those words in a tape. You may want to throw out of your window now, but in the future, you may just miss them enough. One day when it won't hurt, you'd want to play it, and replay it, and put it on loop. Remember, and smile to yourself. Don't throw it all away.
Sure, you're mad. You feel like jumping on the whole world, not even sure how you got into the mess, all magnified by now. Thing is, you gotta remember. Remember that people lie. Remember that people make mistakes. Remember that people didn't mean it just as much as how you wish you weren't part of all the crap. For a good cause or unintentionally for the bad, remember to remember.
Don't keep clinging on, holding on. The grip'll get pretty strangling. It's okay to think about what you never got to go through. It's okay to know that others are better at it. It's all really okay. Not that it doesn't matter, it does. But whatever the case, it's okay. We learn, we grow. Anyway life's a journey, not a destination. Hold on not to what you never had and would kill to experience, but what you once had. It's better than never even having a chance to going through it. It's even a happy feeling of stealing something from someone!
I can't stop others from getting hurt, but I'll stay away. I'm not a wasted toy on auction, I'm a rare vintage toy waiting to be discovered. I'll stop denying, I'll listen intently about what you've got to say. I won't throw them out of the window, I'll keep them somewhere in my memory box. I learnt that things won't be perfect, more matters on how you stare perfection in the eye. I'd love being a thief on the railways of life, sprinting, not dragging my feet everywhere, leaving their marks in my wake.
I've had a joy ride, a time of my life. What about you?
Wow, that's a long post. I'm happy I could get them all out to words and hopefully, not miss out any point! I'm not emo, I've just had critical thinking. It feels really intellectual, try arranging your thoughts! Haha. Idiot my hair still not dry yet , means I cannot sleep.
Hair, please dry, quick, so I can sleep. Alternatively, you can choose to grow 10 cm longer. :D
GetOverIt-Avril L. keeps playing in my brain, quite irritating uh!
I want to sleep I want to sleep I want to sleep and my hair to grow 10 cm longer, hahaha. (Bodoh, getting long and heavy, had the urge to chop it and layered short again, like makeover. Prom at stake, prom at stake. I am a vain boyboy , hahaha. SOS SOS SOS.
Morning jog,
yellow butterflies
yellow birds
yellow leaves
an incompleted straw heart on the ground.
Didn't you want to hear,
the sound of all the places we could go.
Not always the limelight , girl
I'm online.
I'm fucking hungry , my stomach's super irritating it keeps growling and interupts my reading.
It's 6:37, the sky's light blue now!
(Am so excited to gym/swim)
It's not that I can't sleep, I can and am tired and my body hasn't moved for so long it's bloody numbing and aching and my feet are freezing, it's cold. But, I spent my time well, I guess! I guess I see the light. It's so much more, so much more than that, so much more than meets the eye. I should be happy that at the least, I've got a happy family. (L)
I wonder if it feels the same.
The same songs.
The same words.
The same things.
The same emotions.
Gosh, I do hope everyone's better. Shall go pray again later.
My stomach rumbled againnnnnnnn. Shall go sleep it off.
I miss the beach. Again. And so many things.
I'm fucking hungry , my stomach's super irritating it keeps growling and interupts my reading.
It's 6:37, the sky's light blue now!
(Am so excited to gym/swim)
It's not that I can't sleep, I can and am tired and my body hasn't moved for so long it's bloody numbing and aching and my feet are freezing, it's cold. But, I spent my time well, I guess! I guess I see the light. It's so much more, so much more than that, so much more than meets the eye. I should be happy that at the least, I've got a happy family. (L)
I wonder if it feels the same.
The same songs.
The same words.
The same things.
The same emotions.
Gosh, I do hope everyone's better. Shall go pray again later.
My stomach rumbled againnnnnnnn. Shall go sleep it off.
I miss the beach. Again. And so many things.
The other way,
I often wonder if life is better for other people or are they just better at faking it.
Some people make others believe they are different,
but really they just don't know how to fit in.
Some people make others believe they are different,
but really they just don't know how to fit in.
Love
Sad isn’t it? How no matter what you say to me, when you come running back, when you need me again, I’ll be here, right here waiting for you. I’ll take you back, no questions asked.
I should’ve been chasing you. I should have been trying to prove that you were all that mattered to me. I should have said all the things that I kept inside of me. Maybe I could have made you believe that what we had was all we’d ever need.
Basically, I think love is a feeling. It’s that feeling you get when you know you are going to see that person. You’re always counting down the minutes, the hours, the days, or even the months until you will see them again. Cause you love that feeling you have when you’re with them. You know that butterfly, giggly, warm, this-smile-is-never-gonna-leave-my-face feeling. Love is a feeling of perfect happiness & contentment. Being in the arms means that everything will be okay & even if it’s really not going to be, you get a feeling that they’ll do whatever they can to make it be, or just to try to make you feel better. It’s that feeling that you are loved for who you are, & you love them for who they are. Every bit of them, no matter how obnoxious or out of character it may seem at times. It’s about how you love to brag about them & annoy your friends cause half the things they say or do really isn’t all that sweet & is really overly corny, but you can care less cause that to you is special. It’s about how they are the first one you want to talk to when anything is good or bad, & how you are always learning something new, no matter how long you have been dating. It’s about changing & being a new person. Not necessarily changing your ways or who you are, but wanting to be different & a better person simply cause that person is in your life & you want to be everything to them.
As I stand here tonight and look up at the huge sky filled with all those stars I think of you. I think of all the times we were together and I think of the times we looked up at the very same sky. And then I realized how much I miss you. I thought I could get through it. I thought I would be okay. But how can I be? Without you I stand alone in the huge world… I stand alone.
Look, I’m going to find a way to be happy. And I’d really love to be happy with you, but if I can’t be happy with you, then I’ll find a way to be happy without you.
Along the way, I’ve learned that you can’t let anyone in too far and you can’t trust endlessly. The biggest mistake you can make is to care or love someone more than yourself, because then you are just setting yourself up for disappointment. Boundaries are necessary so that you can protect yourself, because once you’re broken, you’ll never be fully fixed.
But it’s just another one of those days. I can’t help but feel a little upset about the things you and I never had. I had the world, but instead threw it all away.
I want to study the geography of your body. I want to start a revolution with you. I want to write secret notes on your back as you sleep next to me. But what I really want is to tell you
that regardless of everything, I love you. Even if you never love me back.. I love you. I hope that when you’re laying in bed after a night spent in some distant state or country, watching terrible TV, that you don’t feel alone. I love you.
From: http://ifmindshad-toes.livejournal.com/
Totally ripped off wholesale from MEISHANSHINE the big fluffy cookie monster. Heehee.
Thought that crazy girl typed out all this herselffffffff , omgeeeeee.
I should’ve been chasing you. I should have been trying to prove that you were all that mattered to me. I should have said all the things that I kept inside of me. Maybe I could have made you believe that what we had was all we’d ever need.
Basically, I think love is a feeling. It’s that feeling you get when you know you are going to see that person. You’re always counting down the minutes, the hours, the days, or even the months until you will see them again. Cause you love that feeling you have when you’re with them. You know that butterfly, giggly, warm, this-smile-is-never-gonna-leave-my-face feeling. Love is a feeling of perfect happiness & contentment. Being in the arms means that everything will be okay & even if it’s really not going to be, you get a feeling that they’ll do whatever they can to make it be, or just to try to make you feel better. It’s that feeling that you are loved for who you are, & you love them for who they are. Every bit of them, no matter how obnoxious or out of character it may seem at times. It’s about how you love to brag about them & annoy your friends cause half the things they say or do really isn’t all that sweet & is really overly corny, but you can care less cause that to you is special. It’s about how they are the first one you want to talk to when anything is good or bad, & how you are always learning something new, no matter how long you have been dating. It’s about changing & being a new person. Not necessarily changing your ways or who you are, but wanting to be different & a better person simply cause that person is in your life & you want to be everything to them.
As I stand here tonight and look up at the huge sky filled with all those stars I think of you. I think of all the times we were together and I think of the times we looked up at the very same sky. And then I realized how much I miss you. I thought I could get through it. I thought I would be okay. But how can I be? Without you I stand alone in the huge world… I stand alone.
Look, I’m going to find a way to be happy. And I’d really love to be happy with you, but if I can’t be happy with you, then I’ll find a way to be happy without you.
Along the way, I’ve learned that you can’t let anyone in too far and you can’t trust endlessly. The biggest mistake you can make is to care or love someone more than yourself, because then you are just setting yourself up for disappointment. Boundaries are necessary so that you can protect yourself, because once you’re broken, you’ll never be fully fixed.
But it’s just another one of those days. I can’t help but feel a little upset about the things you and I never had. I had the world, but instead threw it all away.
I want to study the geography of your body. I want to start a revolution with you. I want to write secret notes on your back as you sleep next to me. But what I really want is to tell you
that regardless of everything, I love you. Even if you never love me back.. I love you. I hope that when you’re laying in bed after a night spent in some distant state or country, watching terrible TV, that you don’t feel alone. I love you.
I want you to be my first happy thought in the morning, not my last lonely thought at night, ending another disappointing day without you.
From: http://ifmindshad-toes.livejournal.com/
Totally ripped off wholesale from MEISHANSHINE the big fluffy cookie monster. Heehee.
Thought that crazy girl typed out all this herselffffffff , omgeeeeee.
Just one of those things you'll have to get over it
Get over it -Avril Lavigne
Slipping down a slide
I did enjoy the ride
Don't know what to decide
You lied to me
You looked me in the eye
It took me by surprise
Now are you gratified
You cried to me
Don't turn around
I'm sick and I'm tired of your face
Don't make this worse
You've already gone and got me mad
It's too bad I'm not sad
It's casting over
It's just one of those things
You'll have to get over it
When I was feeling down
You'd start to hang around
And then I found your hands all over me
And that was out of bounds
You filthy rotten hound
It's better than it sounds, believe me
You'll have to get over it
It's a lacking string of words with punctuation at the back .
It's really really really chilly tonight but there's really no such thing anymore.
Something .
"There is no rest for you guys from now till O's are over,"
-Ms Kam, when we complained about alr having alot of homework while she was going to give us Physics homework
Hell yeah, damn true, shit.
-Ms Kam, when we complained about alr having alot of homework while she was going to give us Physics homework
Hell yeah, damn true, shit.
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