Can't take this song, it's so beautifully sad. Makes me think of how I am treating people around me, just doing everything to suit myself and make myself feel sufficient. Make myself feel good, how I cast aside fears and messed up thoughts of my own only to sacrifice another persons'. And just in that moment of folly, how that would turn into you'd come to regret, that knots me up in the stomach.
It's really horrible how anger, jealousy, greed, all these feelings in Pandora's box, cliched as they may seem, can put someone into such a wreck. In that moment, you can forsake friendship, trust, belief for things that you feel are unjustly snatched away from you.
I don't want to give up on or lose things and people in this manner. It's really not worth it.
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No need for lies or explanations. I know what you mean. I know what you want. From me, and me only. No in the exclusive way, but in a way you can't get from others and in a way that no one knows. The way dirty linen works.
What really defines a fault? Is is something socially unaccepted or what others perceive you to be? And if you've done something wrong, what's the right thing to do? Tell everyone, is that considered shame or coming clean, washing off your sins? Is is keeping it in for yourself to know and not letting it on a soul and not doing it again, and if you do do it again, are you at fault? Are you at fault for going against your principles or not simply because no one knows? And if you stop doing it nothing is really different so if you stop it are you really salvaging anything? But a fault is a fault and there isn't sch a thing as undoing it. Do you keep it in and kill yourself bit by bit inside of you silently or spill the beans and risk a reputation and a person's trust? And then there's always that bit to keep going at it for forbidden fruit is the sweetest and nothing is clear and that it'll always be in the dark if no one lets the cat out of the bag and that people are easy and that with experience comes familiarity. I don't think I will wash myself clean, I'm staying away at my best. Abstinence, they say. Moral grey areas wash over people. Logic makes no sense.
Go back to the past, haunting days.