Blood is gushing out from me cramps are @!#$$@##%$%. And some pervert stole my green tweety bird bra. And I woke up today feeling fucked up. So I texted a few good friends and then I missed and thought about random people and texted like one million people on my contacts list,

it feels like giving people some thought care and concern could make up for what youre feeling your missing on the inside. And the replies, they feel good. Like people still care and I dont know why but it feels like my friends really know me when they ask what happen or deemed something to have happened. There seems so be an understanding, an acceptance and that they feel for you and are willing to listen if you have something to say. I cried seeing some replies. Some I texted what I admire, some I texted what I felt, some I thought about, and others I missed. It's like, scrolling through my contact list there's this ongoing chatter about what I want to tell each person, some I hold in, others not as close or of less importance, but every one with a reason. Everyone gives me a different feeling. I want to care for everyone, it's like I could offer more than bumming around in my bed on a bad day. Instead of me lifeting others up, most of the replies actually lift me up. Some, I feel more for and have the inclination to say something, because something they did touched me, or something they did I felt I could relate to, others because I felt they were unjustly treated because the way word spreads, you could blame no one and in the end it would be anything but the truth.
Then comes the replies. It's a thrill really seeing 10 texts waiting for you to open up. It's the feeling of unravelling gifts, the special feeling only you get when it's your birthday. Then after a while when you want to do your stuff and it becomes a chore you have to put the texts down, which I'll continue seeing them later! There's still this tinge of regret, I dont know how to explain it, but its like some people dont reply and you wonder where theyve gone, what theyre doing and the like. Like maybe they changed theyre numbers and your roads wont ever cross again, or the number sitting in your contact list you've gotten wrong the time you typed it in.

Emotional day! You know somedays you just wake up and feel Hey, today isnt right. Like today I wished alot of things could have mattered less. And others, more, they more than what I have devoted my time and essence to.

And then I read my saved messages, would really like to type some out here when I have the time. Some made me smile, some made me cry. All in all there's a reason why theyre sitting in saved messages. Things that matter, things to remind, things that are sweet, things that are thoughtful, things that just make me feel good, things that feel close to the heart.

Thanks guys, for sometimes it is true that when giving out thoughts and messages we are actually listening to ourselves and making ourselves feel better with others as a medium. There is always someone out there for you and willing to listen.